home buying – Down Home with the Irrs

the bug.

i am currently writing this post from the couch, eating ice cream, watching real housewives of dallas and resting my back. no judgements please. man, being pregnant the second time around while trying to wrangle an almost 30 lb, 17 month old is physically draining. this time around, my back is not loving me, so here i am trying to take a break while i have a house with endless to-dos staring me in the face.

here’s an update on where we are at this week. nothing new to report medically as it relates to little bug. i am officially 27 weeks. woah. however, little bug and i got hit with a big whammy of a stomach bug.

we enjoyed a wonderful visit with Mike’s parents and just finished afternoon at a tip-off event for the new season, when WHAM!, i was hit with a stomach bug.

20180929-kop_03282 — pre stomach bug happiness

at first, i thought it was food poisoning (because where would i have picked up this bug), but then 48 hours later Mike got hit. then, the worst of it, Landon woke up Tuesday night after vomiting all over himself and his crib. major panic for me and my momma heart. the little guy didn’t understand what was going on and we could not get him to stop throwing up. with Mike down for the count, i called in my mom for reinforcements so i could at least put him down and clean up the mess. THESE ARE THE MOMENTS I AM GRATEFUL TO BE BACK HOME!!!

sparing you all the gory details, but we ended up in the ER with Landon late Tuesday night to get him some zofran. poor guy just could not stop the sickness. after a dose of the meds, my little man was back to his usual self flirting with the nurses and smiling.

it honestly took a week for our entire household to recover. i spent the next couple days sanitizing everything in sight. after both the physical and emotional exhaustion of the week, we decided to hop in the car with my parents and head to the beach for a couple days. a little fun in the sun is just what the doctor ordered! and the sweetest beach naps.

and just when we thought we were all recovered, WHAM!, my mom got hit with the bug. this dang bug. i pray y’all do not get hit with this thing!

other life things going on this week other than being taken out by the stomach bug – the house is still in shambles. there is not a single room that is complete, but i will say i have some visions and plans that i just need to execute. little bug is KICKING a lot. he’s just happy as clam in there. we have not made any progress on the name front (just haven’t had time to think about it), but did make progress with pediatrician research and information interviews. i will keep y’all posted about that. i know i will feel more at ease when i choose a pediatrician.

emotionally, this week really took it out of me. i don’t know if it’s the extra focus on down syndrome due to down syndrome awareness month (which is incredible, so please don’t misunderstand me), or the buddy walk that took place in Atlanta last weekend, or just the result of being overly tired and physically exhausted, but i ended the week in tears. i am in a valley again for the time being. feeling totally unprepared for life with two under two, unprepared for a baby with special needs, unprepared to become a “special needs mom.” just overall unprepared and feeling majorly guilty. so i am trying to give myself some grace and trying to remind myself that this too shall pass.

my goals for this week – take care of myself a little more, keep calling preschools/parents morning out programs for Landon (so far on 3 waitlists…ugh), and embrace this pregnancy a little more. i may even take a bump picture…

a new season

this week has been another crazy week here at the irr home. we are entering a new season in many ways – a new weather season, a new life season, a new professional season. and all the new seasons are colliding!

at home, we are in a new season of life and homeownership. it’s been a busy week of more appointments and phone calls – calling repairmen, reporting claims for property damage (very minor stuff), buying all the equipment and essentials, and trying to completely unpack a single room (still working on this). we love our home, but man, it’s tough to keep up with it all while simultaneously juggling a toddler and a career that takes a very important member of our team away from us for the majority of the week. oh, did i mention we also have squirrels in our attic? flying squirrels to be exact. and one that managed to find its way into our wall just in time to scare me while Mike was away. hello homeownership and goodbye money! and a big OH, we also have an owl in our backyard. pretty cool, unless you have seen the Michael Peterson Dateline….i’ll just leave it at that…

a new NBA season has officially begun and i am not ready. i am never really ready for the season to begin, but this year really feels like it popped up on us fast. i don’t feel like we really had a summer off (probably because we have been a little busy) and that is draining on us all. it’s also a very strange feeling to be entering a season as the newbies. it was always great to see familiar faces and our NBA family after a summer apart, but now we are those people entering a new team and not really feeling connected at the current moment. i know time will change all of this, but with so many other aspects of life being in transition, it’s tough feeling when we will be spending so much of our time together and away due to the team. i will say i am hopeful! i am grateful to have met a couple incredible women who i know will help ease this transition and also grateful for an organization that really puts a large emphasis on family and support.

a new season of life literally began this week for Mike. we celebrated our favorite guy’s birthday and were lucky to be able to do so with both of our families. in this next year for him, life is really changing and we are embracing the opportunity to get another year together to see what is in store. we checked in with little bug at the perinatologist this week and all is looking great! he is measuring right on target and, other than his heart defect, looking perfectly healthy. thank God. i am now being spaced out 5 weeks between visits unless something changes.

i have been asked several times how i am feeling. physically i am feeling pretty good. i am exhausted, but to be expected. otherwise, pregnancy symptoms are minimal and all is well physically. mentally, i am feeling a bit unsettled. i am feeling unprepared for a second child, any child, let alone a baby with special needs. i am feeling guilty that i have not focused as much on this pregnancy as i did with Landon. i keep putting things off because i have “time” with the pregnancy and these other life matters have been more pressing. it’s officially time for me to stop procrastinating and get focused.

on deck for me this week – call around for interview appointments with pediatricians, focus on the name search (we have one we love, but i want to be 100% certain), look into Gigi’s playhouse in Atlanta, start figuring out what we need for baby #2. i should also start thinking about a design for his nursery… but that might be another week or two before i can really focus on that.

things i am thankful for this week: a healthy toddler, a healthy husband, a healthy baby boy growing inside me. my family, who continuously help us through this transition. Mike’s family who gave me a much needed break this week and helped us with more house items. a roof over our head, even if it’s filled with squirrels. a loving home. and a God who continues to provide for us.

official birthday celebration pic before L’s shirt was stained at dinner…

the present: 24 weeks

hey! remember me? i know, i know. it’s been 10 days since my last post.

suddenly, life was moving at a rapid pace and i couldn’t keep up with it all. between the doctors appointments, closing on our new home, moving, a toddler, and work orders, i was exhausted. still am. but we are finally, mostly, out of boxes and resuming life.

here is the final “catching up” update to get you to the present: 24 weeks pregnant.

weeks 21-23 were exactly as described before. BUSY. we closed on our first real home! we couldn’t be more excited to be be homeownIRRs and create a loving, happy, healthy, home for our growing family. thanks to the help of my parents and brothers, we were able to get the house in a decent place within a week! now it’s mostly decorating and buying new furniture! wohoo! i’ll keep you updated on the home front once things are more settled.

with a new home comes all the necessary appointments and people to the house – aka appliance deliveries, pest control (ummmmmmm California spoiled me for the last three years), locksmiths, internet provider, etc. there was someone new here almost every day to get things up and running. now we are waiting on the final delivery, our washer and dryer. can you believe we have been living without one for over a week now? the laundry pile is HUGE and we are on our last pieces of clean clothes. my wednesday is looking like a day full of laundry…yipee.

somewhere in these weeks, i managed to sneak in an appointment with the pediatric cardiologist. we were referred to Sibley here in Atlanta and according to my research and network of friends, they are THE heart specialists. in the earlier ultrasounds, little bug was 100% showing a heart defect. we did not know the extent of that defect and needed to get the cardiologist to take a look to confirm what was going on.

here is what i knew going into this appointment. it is very common for babies with Down syndrome to have heart problems. i knew little bug had a VSD (hole in the heart) and potentially a much more serious defect called tetralogy of fallot (ToF: basically a combination of four defects present at birth – you can google more about it). i was hoping this appointment would give us a clearer picture of what to expect after birth in regards to his heart.

if you have never had a fetal echo done, word of warning, they are LONG. like 45 minutes of ultrasound long. just looking at the heart. tips: make sure you are hydrated and well fed before you go in there. i was not and almost passed out on the table while the sonographer was taking all the pictures….whoops. and i was solo at this appointment – thanks, NBA.

after a painfully long ultrasound, the cardiologist came in to review the pictures and look more at little bugs heart. after he had everything he needed, we met in a different exam room to go over the results. to my pleasant surprise, the news wasn’t all that bad. if you know me, you know that i worry a lot and typically prepare for the worst (i am constantly working on this).

our cardiologist explained very calmly and in much detail that little bug did in fact have a VSD. it is a large one that will require open heart surgery to repair, usually around 4-6 months of life. they want these little babies to get stronger and fatten up before they attempt surgery (when possible). most VSDs can close on their own (or sometimes people live with them without issue), but it would be extremely rare for this to happen for our baby given its size. he also explained that he did not see any signs pointing to ToF or a larger problem. yahoo! good news from this appointment! we are not necessarily in the clear, but i am choosing to think positively and stay this course unless someone tells me otherwise. unfortunately, they really cannot confirm heart issues until an echo is performed after birth. i’ll go back to the cardiologist at 32 weeks for another check-in.

today, i am 24 weeks pregnant. physically feeling pretty good, except for the aches and pains from moving, chasing an almost 30 pound toddler and being on my feet too much over the last week. mentally feeling okay. i can’t say mentally i am great, but right now, i am hopeful and doing well in the land of okay. i can feel little bug moving everyday, which makes my heart happy. tomorrow i go back to the perinatologist for a growth scan, so i’ll know more then. there is still plenty of time for things to change in regards to little bugs health, but like i said before, i am staying in my lane until told otherwise.

today, and everyday, i am grateful for my two dudes and little one growing inside me. my family for all the love, support and help with the house and Landon lately. my friends, for continuously checking in on me. i am grateful that we have been blessed with the ability to buy a beautiful home for our family.

the waiting weeks 3.0: life changes

i’m still working hard to get you guys caught up to the present – 23 weeks. WHAT?! is this normal second pregnancy problems? time is FLYING and i haven’t taken a single bump picture… but first, back to weeks 18-20 aka the waiting weeks 3.0

anyone else a Thomas Rhett fan? the song Life Changes seemed to pretty much be my anthem then (and still now). never in my wildest dreams did i think our lives would be where they were/are.

Ain’t it funny how life changes
You wake up, ain’t nothing the same and life changes
You can’t stop it, just hop on the train and
You never know what’s gonna happen
You make your plans and you hear God laughing
Life changes, and I wouldn’t change it for the world, the world, oh no
And I wouldn’t change it for the world, the world, oh no

weeks 18 and 19 we found ourselves in a whirlwind of life, attempting to settle in. all of a sudden, we were under contract on a home and doing the necessary inspections to make sure we were 100% certain this was it for us. we were busy getting Georgia licenses and tags, finding new doctors for Landon and i (which is more challenging than it seems), and setting up those necessary appointments. we did get to throw in a quick weekend trip to Hilton Head, which helped recharge our batteries a bit. needless to say, waiting the 10-14 days for the amnio results was not that difficult.

we had already accepted the results from my NIPT prior, so we were really just waiting for a confirmation, a true diagnosis doctors would recognize. i had my first appointment with my new OB before the results came in. she was wonderful and caring. and for the first time this pregnancy, i did not feel like i was being treated any different than a mother expecting a typical baby. i don’t know why, but i cried at that appointment. it was probably a combination of life stress, emotions running high with this little bug, and just being hormonal. i promised her i would not cry at my next appointment… whoops!

the outcome of that appointment was exactly as i expected. i needed a referral to a new perinatologist where i would get my 20 week anatomy scan done to check on the health of little bug and continue to monitor the “abnormalities” found at previous scans.

a week later, we were in the perinatologists office for the ultrasound and armed with our amnio results. we are having a SupIRR baby. little bug is confirmed T21 and Klinefelters. i’m not sure if you have been keeping count, but make that a whopping 48 chromosomes to your typical 46. boom. he’s superhuman 😉 like i had mentioned, it is extremely rare to have both syndromes, but both can peacefully co-exist. the Klinefelters markers will most likely be overshadowed by the Downs and that is perfectly okay.

upside of the amnio results, now we had a diagnosis and doctors would stop looking at our baby with the typical lens and instead look at him in the spectrum of health related to these syndromes.

the 20 week ultrasound was probably the first time we went to the doctor and did not get any more “bad” news. little bug actually made some good progress! his growth was great! the signs of the brain abnormality seemed to go away (which was always a possibility) and the echogenic bowel was no longer present. PRAISE GOD! little bugs heart was still showing a defect, but this perinatologist felt more optimistic about it than our last. we were referred to a pediatric cardiologist for a fetal echo which would be done at 22 weeks (more on that later). all in all a good appointment!

Landon had his 15 month appointment (a little late), but 3 shots later, we were all caught up on life things at the moment.

i feel like i need a nap just from reliving this moment in time! looking forward to getting you caught up to the present. we’re probably one post away from that!

the waiting weeks 2.0: weeks 16-18

weeks 16 to 18 were filled with more waiting, but more “life.” here’s a look back at those weeks while we moved, prepared for an amniocentesis, and house hunted!

week 16: on july 27, we headed to our perinatologist in Oakland hoping to be able to have the amniocentesis done this day. i was freshly 16 weeks pregnant and just barely into the window of time where they can perform an amniocentesis. basically, they want the amniotic sac walls to be fused before they perform an amnio. this typically happens as early as 16 weeks, but is not the case for everyone. surprise, surprise, this was not the case for me.

the first half of the appointment consists of the ultrasound where the sonographer takes tons of pictures of baby to measure, track development, look for potential abnormalities or defects, and check if the amniotic wall has fused. then you meet with the doctor to go over the results. little bug (our nickname for this baby) was looking good and happy. per usual, he would not sit still for his pictures! then the doctor came in to talk through the results. things we learned this day: 1) i would not be getting the amnio unless we wanted to risk an unsuccessful procedure (we decided to return in 2 weeks) 2) there were a few areas of concern – there were signs of a hole in his heart, a potential brain defect, and a potential echogenic bowel 3) he was happy as a clam and gave us the thumbs up – like don’t worry mom and dad, i’m going to be okay 🙂 meet little bug ❤

it seemed like we were getting more and more bad news at every appointment. we had to keep in mind, however, that all of these potential health concerns were all considered normal for a baby with down syndrome.

week 16 was also filled with some fun things – house hunting! well, house hunting from afar. we looked at listings online from our agent and compiled a list of homes we wanted to see the following week when we arrived in Atlanta!

week 17: this week was a blur of life things. i think we toured almost 20 potential homes, striking out with them all. then we had a friend’s wedding in the North Carolina mountains. it was a much needed break from “life.” a weekend away baby-free (thanks to my father-in-law for keeping Landon), where we could reconnect with our east coast friends, relax, and semi-forget all of the stresses in our life.

we had a rude awakening back to reality after the weekend. Mike flew back out to California to handle the movers and returning the keys to our place. he flew back late Wednesday night to be at work bright and early Thursday. then i flew back to Cali on Thursday afternoon for my amnio procedure the following day. woof. this was a week!

week 18: week 18 started with me flying back to California for my amnio. due to insurance reasons, i had to come back to Cali. truthfully, i wasn’t too disappointed! we planned a girls weekend with my friends out there and basically had a weekend-long sleepover! besides the actual procedure part, it was a really fun weekend 🙂

the amnio. man, was i scared. there was the pain part that scared me… no pain medication or numbing creams to help with a needle going through my belly. then there was the risk to our baby that scared me. we already knew our baby had down syndrome (even though all the tests were not a true diagnosis), so was it worth the potential risk to baby just to find out the answer to the Klinefelters? i wanted Mike with me, but it just wasn’t possible.

one of my best friends stepped in for Mike and took me to the appointment and was my nurse for the rest of the day. the ultrasound showed the amniotic walls were fused and the procedure could take place. i think the entire procedure took all of one minute. it was definitely uncomfortable and not something i would like to do again. we had to wait two weeks for the results.

the rest of the day was spent relaxing and binge watching Bachelor in Paradise.

as with all things, everything seems to pile on at one time. we submitted an offer on a house the same day as my procedure (i did not see said house in person, but loved it from the pictures and trusted Mike to make the ultimate decision after he saw it) and went under contract the next day. life was definitely not slowing down for us anytime soon…