still here

hi, let me introduce myself again. i am stefanie and we are still alive and here. i apologize for being a bit MIA these last 12 days to be exact, but it’s been a bit nuts.

we have had a crazy 12 days jam packed with an epic visit from Cali friends, rain, rain and more rain, sleepless nights (thank you teething), sickness, doctor appointments for both L and me, and one long freaking road trip for mike. can you tell i am a bit salty about the road trip?

here’s my attempt at trying to catch you up on all the craziness. the last couple weeks started with a terrible three days of literally no sleep for me. between third trimester insomnia, the constant middle of the night bathroom trips, and landon’s teething, i could not get any rest. my body breaks down every time this happens and i get sick immediately. so i got sick. perfect timing for a big weekend of UGA football with friends visiting from Cali for their first ever SEC football game. good news, 60% of the people on this trip were sick. bad news, 60% of us were sick. but we had the time of our lives and it made me miss my Cali family SO bad.

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TROOPERS! love this crew

after such a fun weekend, i needed to attempt to heal my body. sleep was necessary but not happening. mike left for one of the longer road trips and landon is currently not sleeping great thanks to his molars…. naturally, i get him sick in the process and Atlanta decided this past week was the perfect week for nonstop rain and 40 degree temps. who can keep an 18 mo old, sick toddler entertained indoors for 3+ days straight? anyone? please message me your tips.

even though our bodies were broken down, we did get some things accomplished around here. landon had his 18 month appointment with the new pediatrician who will also see little bug. it was great getting to know the doc a little more before going in for our first visit with bug. i think he will be a great fit!

i also had my 32 week OB appointment. my final “calm” appointment before the storm. next set of appointments include biophysical profiles (BPP) and non-stress tests (NST) every week. that’s enough to send my anxiety through the roof! looks like the hospital bag will be packed just in case. all is still looking good and normal right now!

in more fun news, my mom and i made more progress on the nursery. the accent wall is 4/5 of the way completed and has become quite the joke. i have literally had to order a new roll of wallpaper after each “nap time” work session. 2 sessions later and still need another roll of wallpaper for LITERALLY 21 inches wide of space. OH and if it couldn’t get any worse, the actual paper is only 20.5 inches wide, leaving us with figuring out how to make this work for HALF AN INCH. face palm. but we love it and it’s been really fun to see it start to come together. we also hung the curtains, which appear black in the photos from the lighting, but they are actually a dark green. this is going to be an accent color we use for the dresser.

more pregnancy updates – i am pretty positive we have decided on a name for little bug. YAY! this upcoming week i have another fetal echo to check on bug’s heart condition and we will tour the hospital/NICU. with the holiday chaos literally around the corner, it will be nice to at least know where we go when the time comes to deliver.

after all the rain, we have had two really gorgeous days and was able to escape with my little dude. we might both have runny noses and yucky coughs, but he loves to be outdoors and needed to make sure he practiced his hoop skills before dada came home. ❤

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my focus this week is family time and Christmas shopping. anyone have particular black friday deals you are excited about? i’ll also be looking for baby gear we need for bug. aka a different baby monitor, double stroller, nursery decor, etc. second time mommas, send me your recs! i am all about finding a good deal, but also would love to know what you have found to be practical.

 

30 going on 31…weeks

not my age. although, i am recently (ish) 30. i can’t believe it’s November. i can’t believe i am about to be 31 weeks pregnant. i can’t believe we are about to have another baby SO soon. between the holidays and many tasks left to get done around the house, we are going to blink and baby will be here.

in the last week or so, not a whole lot has happened pregnancy wise. i had two appointments, one with my regular OB and one with my perinatologist. i learned a lot of things from these two appointments – basically for the duration of my pregnancy, i will live at the doctor’s office. ugh.

there is a much greater risk of stillbirths with babies that have chromosomal abnormalities and they want to make sure they catch any signs of distress ASAP. so starting at 34 weeks, i will go to the OB once a week for non-stress tests and the perinatologist once a week for biophysical profiles. that’s two appointments a week until i deliver. at any point in time, they could be telling me i need to go in and have this baby. looks like i have to add packing my hospital bag to my list of to-dos in the coming weeks!

other things related to little bug and momming life – our part-time nanny started last week and it has been life changing. the first day went great! i was able to focus on things i needed to do around the house, get myself dressed without having to chase a toddler around while brushing my teeth and even got some work done (gasp!). the second day, Landon realized i wasn’t home and was overly tired which made for a tearful morning. i am hoping this phase will pass as he gets to know her more and by the time little bug is here, he’ll be excited to play with Ms. Mallory. we also picked a pediatrician and it feels great to have that sorted out. i hope my gut is right with this choice and we come to love him as the medical professional protecting our children.

life updates – our first halloween in the new house was a semi-success. i say “semi” because Landon was in a sour mood and was not at all interested in going house to house (i know he’s still young). instead, he just wanted to wander the street and stare at all the big kids in costumes. we also ran out of candy by 7:30 PM, soooooooooo now we know! our neighborhood closes off the street in front of our house so kids can roam safely. it turns into quite the crowd from neighboring streets and two costco size bags of candy just wasn’t going to cut it.

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life lessons i have learned this week – i am not alone in my thoughts and feelings. the support from each of you has been incredible and i find comfort in knowing that we are going through a lot of this together. whether related to a baby/child or something totally different, there is a common thread between the struggles. i also learned that while your child is getting their molars, ALWAYS give Motrin at night even when you think they are doing better. the TWO nights i didn’t give L his Motrin, resulted in a 4 AM wake-up (the night before Halloween, so probably why he was cranky) and 3 AM wake-up just a couple nights ago. i am exhausted and definitely coming down with something from the lack of sleep. my goal, more Motrin and take naps 🙂

PS my friends from Cali are coming to visit this weekend to go to their first ever SEC football game. i couldn’t be more excited to visit with them, but also get back up to Athens to cheer on my Bulldogs!

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cutest pumpkin in the patch

happy Friday y’all! we are gearing up for a fun, but wet, weekend with my brother-in-law and sister-in-law. i was hoping to hit a few fun fall spots, but looks like we will be playing everything by ear due to the weather.

first, i want to say thank you to everyone who read my last post and reached out to me with recommendations and advice on the special needs trust. we are going to figure out some time we can sit down with an expert and really understand what we need to do. now we just have to find that time….

this past week was a busy one, to say the least. Mike was away all week and weekend, so i had to find some things to keep us busy (read distracted) so we didn’t have time to miss him too much. we kicked it off with a trip to the pumpkin patch with my mom, while the rest of the men in the family celebrated my dad’s big 6-0. per usual, i was so excited to take Landon to the pumpkin patch, complete with farm animals, corn maze and hayride. needless to say, he was less than amused and only smiled when his snack cup went “shake shake shake” and he got to walk in the gravel on the way back to the car. typical. here’s a few pictures for proof

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unimpressed
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equally unimpressed, but snacks are life

we are still in the midst of molar teething, which has resulted in some very trying and tiring days for me. he’s getting better each day and dealing with the pain a little better too.

other things that happened this week – tours and interviews. i am happy to report we hired a part-time nanny and she starts next week! fingers crossed she’s everything we hoped for and Landon takes to her quickly. mama’s gotta work and get things done! we  toured two different preschools (we have a third tour lined up for next week). it feels good to get some of these things checked off my list. i also interviewed one pediatrician and have a second one lined up for next week. truthfully, i loved this first pediatrician and would choose him without interviewing anyone else. BUT i want to make sure i am thorough.

i am feeling every bit of 29 weeks pregnant lately. i am currently writing this with a heating pad on my low back because i literally cannot move. probably because i have been going 100 mph and cleaned our entire house yesterday, but it feels good to know it’s done and clean! also, i am happy to report i passed my glucose test (WHOOP WHOOP!) so i can continue to have my bowl of ice cream every night 🙂

it’s crazy that i go back to the OB every 2 weeks now. this means, we are close to the end. woah, woah, woah! slow down. we still don’t have a name, but we did add one more option to our list. we still don’t have anything cleaned out of the nursery, but i did order fun wallpaper for an accent wall (sorry, Mike). we still have no idea what we are doing. we are trying though. after a nice little push to spend time reading again, thanks to my beautiful and talented friend Ashley, i have picked back up with two books. one by Jen Jacob with DSDN and the other by a prominent self-help author who also has a son with Down syndrome. feeling like i can do this a little more than i was feeling yesterday.

still on my to-do list: pick a name, tour the hospital and NICU, pick a pediatrician, clean out the nursery, decorate the nursery, house projects.

NEW on my to-do list: connect with the local Down syndrome chapter, look into Gigi’s playhouse.

enjoy your weekend, friends! we will be spending it with all the Tia and Uncle snuggles for L, another Hawks game, and maybe a couple house projects. we should also carve L’s pumpkin too…. i’ll make sure this is top on the list.

 

third trimester

holy smokes. i am officially 28 weeks pregnant – aka entering my third and final trimester. WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN? the panic continues with the massive to do list, but i do have some fun updates from this past week.

first, on the pregnancy front. i took a bump picture. i really did it, finally. while we were watching the Dawgs lose on Saturday, we decided it was best to distract ourselves with sweeping leaves off the deck and taking a bump pic. this will not be the last time Landon sits on his little brother, but it is the only time it is allowed… (ps this was technically 27 weeks)

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first bump pic – 27 weeks

other pregnancy related things – i had my 28 week appointment and glucose test yesterday. i will say, this one was MUCH easier than my last. for some reason in Cali, i had to do the 3 hour test no matter what. there was not a choice for a 1 hour. but here, i get to start with the 1 hour test and see how those results go before doing the longer more invasive 3 hour test. i felt like a pin cushion though. i got both my flu shot and Tdap shot at this visit. my arms are sore! i now go back every two weeks to the regular OB and still on an every 5 week schedule to the perinatologist. i know this will change once we get closer to the due date.

the name, still up for debate. his nursery, still a storage locker and disaster. the house, still in shambles, but we hung curtains in our bedroom and bought new bedside tables! i cannot wait to get those in place and finish our room. oh! and my biggest accomplishment, i found stools for our island!!!!!! i have been down a deep, dark hole of online furniture shopping and couldn’t find anything i liked that was $350+ per stool. that’s insanity. but i am happy to report, the search is over. now i just need to get them and assemble them all.

on the childcare front – i have realized, i need to move my focus from MMO/PMO to  finding preschool options for Landon and accept that we will not be getting into anything school related until next year. we are too far down on wait lists and, let’s be honest, not enough people will be moving in the next 6 months to move us up. SO here’s what we are working on, a part-time “nanny” to help me 2 days a week and try to get Landon into a preschool for 2019-2020 (holy cow) school year. i have a lead on a promising nanny option! praying this will work out and we can schedule all the doctors appointments and therapies on these two days. AND now i won’t have worry so much about Landon bringing home bugs and getting little bug sick before heart surgery!

here’s my pregnancy/life checklist to work on: find a pediatrician, tour the hospital and NICU, find Landon a preschool, work on the nursery, continue with home projects/organizing.

also, i need to focus some research on insurance for little bug. i hear we will want to set up a special needs trust to protect him long term and keep his insurance coverage, but man this is all way over my head. sounds like we will be having talks with attorneys and financial planners in our near-ish future. if you have experience with this, please please please let me know! i appreciate any help i can get.

oh, and in case anyone is keeping tabs and wondering, yes, i am still eating ice cream every night. this is not an exaggeration, just ask my husband 🙂

 

the bug.

i am currently writing this post from the couch, eating ice cream, watching real housewives of dallas and resting my back. no judgements please. man, being pregnant the second time around while trying to wrangle an almost 30 lb, 17 month old is physically draining. this time around, my back is not loving me, so here i am trying to take a break while i have a house with endless to-dos staring me in the face.

here’s an update on where we are at this week. nothing new to report medically as it relates to little bug. i am officially 27 weeks. woah. however, little bug and i got hit with a big whammy of a stomach bug.

we enjoyed a wonderful visit with Mike’s parents and just finished afternoon at a tip-off event for the new season, when WHAM!, i was hit with a stomach bug.

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pre stomach bug happiness

at first, i thought it was food poisoning (because where would i have picked up this bug), but then 48 hours later Mike got hit. then, the worst of it, Landon woke up Tuesday night after vomiting all over himself and his crib. major panic for me and my momma heart. the little guy didn’t understand what was going on and we could not get him to stop throwing up. with Mike down for the count, i called in my mom for reinforcements so i could at least put him down and clean up the mess. THESE ARE THE MOMENTS I AM GRATEFUL TO BE BACK HOME!!!

sparing you all the gory details, but we ended up in the ER with Landon late Tuesday night to get him some zofran. poor guy just could not stop the sickness. after a dose of the meds, my little man was back to his usual self flirting with the nurses and smiling.

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all smiles for his first trip to the ER

 

it honestly took a week for our entire household to recover. i spent the next couple days sanitizing everything in sight. after both the physical and emotional exhaustion of the week, we decided to hop in the car with my parents and head to the beach for a couple days. a little fun in the sun is just what the doctor ordered! and the sweetest beach naps.

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and just when we thought we were all recovered, WHAM!, my mom got hit with the bug. this dang bug. i pray y’all do not get hit with this thing!

other life things going on this week other than being taken out by the stomach bug – the house is still in shambles. there is not a single room that is complete, but i will say i have some visions and plans that i just need to execute. little bug is KICKING a lot. he’s just happy as clam in there. we have not made any progress on the name front (just haven’t had time to think about it), but did make progress with pediatrician research and information interviews. i will keep y’all posted about that. i know i will feel more at ease when i choose a pediatrician.

emotionally, this week really took it out of me. i don’t know if it’s the extra focus on down syndrome due to down syndrome awareness month (which is incredible, so please don’t misunderstand me), or the buddy walk that took place in Atlanta last weekend, or just the result of being overly tired and physically exhausted, but i ended the week in tears. i am in a valley again for the time being. feeling totally unprepared for life with two under two, unprepared for a baby with special needs, unprepared to become a “special needs mom.” just overall unprepared and feeling majorly guilty. so i am trying to give myself some grace and trying to remind myself that this too shall pass.

my goals for this week – take care of myself a little more, keep calling preschools/parents morning out programs for Landon (so far on 3 waitlists…ugh), and embrace this pregnancy a little more. i may even take a bump picture…

 

 

 

a new season

this week has been another crazy week here at the irr home. we are entering a new season in many ways – a new weather season, a new life season, a new professional season. and all the new seasons are colliding!

at home, we are in a new season of life and homeownership. it’s been a busy week of more appointments and phone calls – calling repairmen, reporting claims for property damage (very minor stuff), buying all the equipment and essentials, and trying to completely unpack a single room (still working on this). we love our home, but man, it’s tough to keep up with it all while simultaneously juggling a toddler and a career that takes a very important member of our team away from us for the majority of the week. oh, did i mention we also have squirrels in our attic? flying squirrels to be exact. and one that managed to find its way into our wall just in time to scare me while Mike was away. hello homeownership and goodbye money! and a big OH, we also have an owl in our backyard. pretty cool, unless you have seen the Michael Peterson Dateline….i’ll just leave it at that…

a new NBA season has officially begun and i am not ready. i am never really ready for the season to begin, but this year really feels like it popped up on us fast. i don’t feel like we really had a summer off (probably because we have been a little busy) and that is draining on us all. it’s also a very strange feeling to be entering a season as the newbies. it was always great to see familiar faces and our NBA family after a summer apart, but now we are those people entering a new team and not really feeling connected at the current moment. i know time will change all of this, but with so many other aspects of life being in transition, it’s tough feeling when we will be spending so much of our time together and away due to the team. i will say i am hopeful! i am grateful to have met a couple incredible women who i know will help ease this transition and also grateful for an organization that really puts a large emphasis on family and support.

a new season of life literally began this week for Mike. we celebrated our favorite guy’s birthday and were lucky to be able to do so with both of our families. in this next year for him, life is really changing and we are embracing the opportunity to get another year together to see what is in store. we checked in with little bug at the perinatologist this week and all is looking great! he is measuring right on target and, other than his heart defect, looking perfectly healthy. thank God. i am now being spaced out 5 weeks between visits unless something changes.

i have been asked several times how i am feeling. physically i am feeling pretty good. i am exhausted, but to be expected. otherwise, pregnancy symptoms are minimal and all is well physically. mentally, i am feeling a bit unsettled. i am feeling unprepared for a second child, any child, let alone a baby with special needs. i am feeling guilty that i have not focused as much on this pregnancy as i did with Landon. i keep putting things off because i have “time” with the pregnancy and these other life matters have been more pressing. it’s officially time for me to stop procrastinating and get focused.

on deck for me this week – call around for interview appointments with pediatricians, focus on the name search (we have one we love, but i want to be 100% certain), look into Gigi’s playhouse in Atlanta, start figuring out what we need for baby #2. i should also start thinking about a design for his nursery… but that might be another week or two before i can really focus on that.

things i am thankful for this week: a healthy toddler, a healthy husband, a healthy baby boy growing inside me. my family, who continuously help us through this transition. Mike’s family who gave me a much needed break this week and helped us with more house items. a roof over our head, even if it’s filled with squirrels. a loving home. and a God who continues to provide for us.

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official birthday celebration pic before L’s shirt was stained at dinner…

the present: 24 weeks

hey! remember me? i know, i know. it’s been 10 days since my last post.

suddenly, life was moving at a rapid pace and i couldn’t keep up with it all. between the doctors appointments, closing on our new home, moving, a toddler, and work orders, i was exhausted. still am. but we are finally, mostly, out of boxes and resuming life.

here is the final “catching up” update to get you to the present: 24 weeks pregnant.

weeks 21-23 were exactly as described before. BUSY. we closed on our first real home! we couldn’t be more excited to be be homeownIRRs and create a loving, happy, healthy, home for our growing family. thanks to the help of my parents and brothers, we were able to get the house in a decent place within a week! now it’s mostly decorating and buying new furniture! wohoo! i’ll keep you updated on the home front once things are more settled.

with a new home comes all the necessary appointments and people to the house – aka appliance deliveries, pest control (ummmmmmm California spoiled me for the last three years), locksmiths, internet provider, etc. there was someone new here almost every day to get things up and running. now we are waiting on the final delivery, our washer and dryer. can you believe we have been living without one for over a week now? the laundry pile is HUGE and we are on our last pieces of clean clothes. my wednesday is looking like a day full of laundry…yipee.

somewhere in these weeks, i managed to sneak in an appointment with the pediatric cardiologist. we were referred to Sibley here in Atlanta and according to my research and network of friends, they are THE heart specialists. in the earlier ultrasounds, little bug was 100% showing a heart defect. we did not know the extent of that defect and needed to get the cardiologist to take a look to confirm what was going on.

here is what i knew going into this appointment. it is very common for babies with Down syndrome to have heart problems. i knew little bug had a VSD (hole in the heart) and potentially a much more serious defect called tetralogy of fallot (ToF: basically a combination of four defects present at birth – you can google more about it). i was hoping this appointment would give us a clearer picture of what to expect after birth in regards to his heart.

if you have never had a fetal echo done, word of warning, they are LONG. like 45 minutes of ultrasound long. just looking at the heart. tips: make sure you are hydrated and well fed before you go in there. i was not and almost passed out on the table while the sonographer was taking all the pictures….whoops. and i was solo at this appointment – thanks, NBA.

after a painfully long ultrasound, the cardiologist came in to review the pictures and look more at little bugs heart. after he had everything he needed, we met in a different exam room to go over the results. to my pleasant surprise, the news wasn’t all that bad. if you know me, you know that i worry a lot and typically prepare for the worst (i am constantly working on this).

our cardiologist explained very calmly and in much detail that little bug did in fact have a VSD. it is a large one that will require open heart surgery to repair, usually around 4-6 months of life. they want these little babies to get stronger and fatten up before they attempt surgery (when possible). most VSDs can close on their own (or sometimes people live with them without issue), but it would be extremely rare for this to happen for our baby given its size.  he also explained that he did not see any signs pointing to ToF or a larger problem. yahoo! good news from this appointment! we are not necessarily in the clear, but i am choosing to think positively and stay this course unless someone tells me otherwise. unfortunately, they really cannot confirm heart issues until an echo is performed after birth. i’ll go back to the cardiologist at 32 weeks for another check-in.

today, i am 24 weeks pregnant. physically feeling pretty good, except for the aches and pains from moving, chasing an almost 30 pound toddler and being on my feet too much over the last week. mentally feeling okay. i can’t say mentally i am great, but right now, i am hopeful and doing well in the land of okay. i can feel little bug moving everyday, which makes my heart happy. tomorrow i go back to the perinatologist for a growth scan, so i’ll know more then. there is still plenty of time for things to change in regards to little bugs health, but like i said before, i am staying in my lane until told otherwise.

today, and everyday, i am grateful for my two dudes and little one growing inside me. my family for all the love, support and help with the house and Landon lately. my friends, for continuously checking in on me. i am grateful that we have been blessed with the ability to buy a beautiful home for our family.

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love bugs

 

 

the waiting weeks 3.0: life changes

i’m still working hard to get you guys caught up to the present – 23 weeks. WHAT?! is this normal second pregnancy problems? time is FLYING and i haven’t taken a single bump picture… but first, back to weeks 18-20 aka the waiting weeks 3.0

anyone else a Thomas Rhett fan? the song Life Changes seemed to pretty much be my anthem then (and still now). never in my wildest dreams did i think our lives would be where they were/are.

Ain’t it funny how life changes
You wake up, ain’t nothing the same and life changes
You can’t stop it, just hop on the train and
You never know what’s gonna happen
You make your plans and you hear God laughing
Life changes, and I wouldn’t change it for the world, the world, oh no
And I wouldn’t change it for the world, the world, oh no

weeks 18 and 19 we found ourselves in a whirlwind of life, attempting to settle in. all of a sudden, we were under contract on a home and doing the necessary inspections to make sure we were 100% certain this was it for us. we were busy getting Georgia licenses and tags, finding new doctors for Landon and i (which is more challenging than it seems), and setting up those necessary appointments. we did get to throw in a quick weekend trip to Hilton Head, which helped recharge our batteries a bit. needless to say, waiting the 10-14 days for the amnio results was not that difficult.

we had already accepted the results from my NIPT prior, so we were really just waiting for a confirmation, a true diagnosis doctors would recognize. i had my first appointment with my new OB before the results came in. she was wonderful and caring. and for the first time this pregnancy, i did not feel like i was being treated any different than a mother expecting a typical baby. i don’t know why, but i cried at that appointment. it was probably a combination of life stress, emotions running high with this little bug, and just being hormonal. i promised her i would not cry at my next appointment… whoops!

the outcome of that appointment was exactly as i expected. i needed a referral to a new perinatologist where i would get my 20 week anatomy scan done to check on the health of little bug and continue to monitor the “abnormalities” found at previous scans.

a week later, we were in the perinatologists office for the ultrasound and armed with our amnio results. we are having a SupIRR baby. little bug is confirmed T21 and Klinefelters. i’m not sure if you have been keeping count, but make that a whopping 48 chromosomes to your typical 46. boom. he’s superhuman 😉 like i had mentioned, it is extremely rare to have both syndromes, but both can peacefully co-exist. the Klinefelters markers will most likely be overshadowed by the Downs and that is perfectly okay.

upside of the amnio results, now we had a diagnosis and doctors would stop looking at our baby with the typical lens and instead look at him in the spectrum of health related to these syndromes.

the 20 week ultrasound was probably the first time we went to the doctor and did not get any more “bad” news. little bug actually made some good progress! his growth was great! the signs of the brain abnormality seemed to go away (which was always a possibility) and the echogenic bowel was no longer present. PRAISE GOD! little bugs heart was still showing a defect, but this perinatologist felt more optimistic about it than our last. we were referred to a pediatric cardiologist for a fetal echo which would be done at 22 weeks (more on that later). all in all a good appointment!

Landon had his 15 month appointment (a little late), but 3 shots later, we were all caught up on life things at the moment.

i feel like i need a nap just from reliving this moment in time! looking forward to getting you caught up to the present. we’re probably one post away from that!